I'm Not Gonna Set The World On Fire

Hello everyone! Today’s post is brought to you by the intelligent folks from Channel 10 at 11!

Right…on that note, let’s begin!

Today’s weather appears to mimic the set of a Halloween movie before nightfall. Cold, but not freezing, trees devoid of their fallen leaves, and the seemingly endless gray clouds that smother the sky. A few hours later and we can call Jason to tell him he’s been hired.

Anyways…today’s the first day of December, which means...Advent Calendars! And up here in the Great White North, World Juniors!! Although…this guy won’t be here to save us this time around…



No worries, I’m sure Canada will be able to perform a collective 180° and take back the crown. A new year brings along a new hero, as is usually the case in junior sports competitions. Question is…who will be the villain in this script?

Moving right along…I’ve met my fair share of morons throughout my life, but you have to mention the people that attempt to talk tough, but make themselves look like complete dumbasses…



No word if any of these guys own a Daewoo as well. Even if they did…they’d still be ridiculed for owning something made by a company who divided by zero in 1999.

Also, something else that tends to get on my nerves – whiny people. Too many of them to count. You’ll find them everywhere, whether it be in public or on television, and you have to wonder how the hell can they get way by doing this all their lives.  From experience, I’ve known that spoiled brats are the anti-thesis of everything good in the world. To be concise – no individuality, no spirit, and no heart.

Not pictured: A man who can hold himself, and not others, accountable.

You know, I wish all of these people just confess one day and say “I FUCKED UP.” Then the world would be a better place, and life goes on. Right? Wrong. I highly doubt any one person will change the perception of a global population of 6 billion. You’ll never convince the city of Toronto to cheer for Vince Carter ever again. Same goes for LeBron James and Cleveland. Or convince a bear not to tear you to pieces. And the list goes on.

The bottom line? You can’t coach with em, can’t win with em, can’t play with em, can’t do it. We (and to a greater extent, the world) need winners, not whiners.

Thank you, Mike Singletary. Hopefully you keep your job after this season. Either way, you are a winner.

The whiners, the egotistical maniacs, and hopeless morons are what I like to call “inadequate use of public space”. In other words, garbage that needs to be burned out of the public eye.

Now, I’m not gonna set the world on fire over this...or should I?

Anyways...enough about that. Let’s move on to something more joyful...like Christmas!

Now that the craziness of Black Friday is over, people will be settling into a daily routine consisting of building gingerbread houses, mailing letters to Santa, opening advent calendars, going to Christmas parties, and eating chocolate. Or so the news believes you to think...the very same people that have such a distorted and hilarious artistic sense. Since when is drawing a stick-man Santa an achievement for crying out loud?

Scary. But not quite as bad as the occasional Christmas Carolers showing up and ringing your doorbell. Especially when they're tone deaf. However, I've seen worse recitations...

Maybe not as horriful as this video is, but you get the point.

An insightful question: Have you ever seen or known anybody that tends to celebrate holidays just a bit too early? Like putting out their Christmas decorations at the beginning of November and have their house look like something out of The Santa Clause?

If so, you’re not alone. And if you’re one of these people who does do this...here’s a present! Merry Christmas!

What I’d like to say to one of these people is, “Why do you even bother? Don’t you have something better to do in your lives?” Then, they’ll give you the inevitable “I take care of my family and work 9-to-5” speech. How unoriginal. Doesn’t almost everybody?

You have to love the absurd side of society. They attempt to explain why they do things like this, but end up confusing themselves, and everyone else around them by using stupid rhetoric. A.k.a they don’t think. They just spout out the first thing that comes to mind, and usually end up regretting it.

These “Early Christmas” people really need to get a life. And by that, I don’t mean the 9-to-5ers and family feuds.  No need to go all Scrooge on me either.

A friend of mine brought up that some people call their Christmas trees “holiday” trees...this is what comes to mind.

...dear god...

Do you seriously want to know what I have to say about this? For video game fanatics, the equivalent would be calling Link “Zelda” as his games are titled The Legend Of Zelda, and Samus “Metroid” as her games are titled Metroid. Get it right people! You’re just proving that society’s getting dumber with each generation! Seriously, holiday trees? WTF? Next thing you know, people like Al Gore and Paris Hilton will be telling us to get holiday trees in downtown Los Angeles. It doesn’t take rocket science to figure out that Christmas trees are never used, and should not be used for anything else but Christmas. And to the morons that do...congratulations, you’ve failed miserably! What, do you want a cookie?

Although...it’s not as bad as calling a butterfly a horse.



Note to self...if I ever own a horse, I’m calling it Butterfree, not Rapidash.

Quote of the Day: “When you’re Russian for food, there’s no time for Stalin.”

On that note, I need something to eat. Come back again for more truthful analysis tomorrow!

And if you’d like, give me something to talk about in the comments!